Inklusive Tattoo Parlor
500 N. Paineshart
"I'm almost certain that I'm the last person you want to hear from. I considered calling you but I couldn't stand the idea of disappointment all in your voice. It makes me nervous, and I don't know how I could have dealt with that. Taking Zoe from Ashwick and moving back to Sacramento was never really something I wanted to do. I don't want to place the blame on anyone else but I had my mother in my ear heavily at the time, and I got tired of trying to choose between the both of you. I always took your side so I felt like maybe I should try giving her a shot. Not to mention she was making valid points. or so I thought at the time. She said you were controlling me, and as long as I lived in the house you purchased I will never have my freedom and independence. She called me a prisoner, and said I should reclaim my independence by moving away.. so that's what I did. Without giving you a heads up or anything. Again, I'm sorry.
The first couple of months back home were good for us. My sister eventually came around and she finally met Zoe. You know we hadn't talked since she took my Dad's side in the divorce when we were teens, and could you believe she had kids of her own! Zoe plays and plays nonstop when she's around her cousins. I sent pictures with this letter just so you can see it and everything. But anyway, My mom told me she had some connections back home for me to get a job with ease. She asked me to quit my job at West Ashwick Middle and I did just what she told me to do and I put my trust in her. What I didn't know is, her connection would fall through and I wouldn't be able to get a job in my field. I tried to come back to Ashwick immediately, I was willing to take whatever tongue lashing you would have gave me but she promised to make everything work. I believed her promise so I stayed. Although I missed you and our family time together. Not to mention Zoe kept asking for her Daddy, and it broke my heart when I had to tell her she wouldn't see you for a long while. I was hungry for my independence, Israel. You've got to understand that. I didn't even care that I was causing a rift between you and Zoe with my own selfish feelings. You've missed a year of her life because of me, and she missed so much of you because of me. I know I have a life time of making up to do.
I waited for my mom to pull her strings but while I waited I had to get a job just to make ends meet. I went back to the super market. The same job I had as a teen and worked there until things were starting to look up. The only thing is, it never did. After months of trying to get it together here in Sacramento. I realized that this isn't good for me, and it isn't good for Zoe. I wanna come back. I should have never listened to anyone outside of you, I'm definitely paying the consequences now. Kids are teasing Zoe because I can't afford to have her looking as nice as I used to; and my mom wouldn't let me reach out to you like I wanted to. Please, let me come back to Ashwick and give this a try. I won't do nothing like this anymore. I can't do this alone, I'm not a single mother kind of girl. I need your help, and your guidance. I kind of don't know which way is up right now. Smh. Remember how I was going back to school and everything when I was up there? Not anymore. College is too expensive and not on my Radar. So much for gaining my masters in education. I was so close and now I'm just sitting here. Working a minimum wage job. I look at it as my Karma for what I did to you.
I rented a room in Paineshart it's big enough for me and Zoe to share until I can get on my feet and rent us an apartment. My mom decided she wasn't moving with us, she's staying behind in Sacramento for now. She also told me that if I were to go back to Ashwick to not call her soo... in a way you're all I have now. I just don't want to come back to Ashwick while on your bad side. I don't want any problems like that. That's why I'm sending this letter to you. I just kinda want you to let me come back without having to endure whatever someone on your bad side would have to. I can't say I'm sorry enough. I told Zoe we would stop by your tattoo shop and finally see Daddy, and she lit up like a christmas tree. So this is just a heads up, we will be stopping by, probably when it's super crowded just because... I don't know (she knows) but jyes, so be on the look out for us. And hopefully we can talk in person, you know?
I learned my lesson. Me and my mother are at odds now. She calls me a weak woman and she cries for me. She says I'm just like her at this age, lost in a man. I don't think I'm lost in you. I think you help me and had my best interest at heart even if you said it a little harsh. Sometimes that's just how people hear things, y'know? I need you. Zoe needs you. She needs both of us, and I need both of yall. So please, when you see me in person, take that into consideration. Don't let your temper get the best of you..
I don't know if you care or not, but I still haven't been with anyone outside of you. The whole year I was away, I was too busy struggling and trying to stay afloat that I didn't even have time to entertain anyone. I know that's probably not important but I just told you that just so you can know that I didn't betray you in any other way. I'm gonna end this letter now, because I'm just rambling. But I'll see you soon, very soon.
Sometimes things go to shit. And sadly Wren learned that early on. Whether it came from the outside world, and the seemingly unrealistic views that society had plagued on her at such a young age-- or even her father not being the man she always thought he was when she was coming up. Wren got pretty used to heartbreak, lying, and being let down early on. At first glance, her family was the ideal cliche family. A mom and a dad, 2 girls, and 1 older brother that cared for the both of them dearly. In the sunny state of California where it seemed like the world was their oyster. Even to Wren, it seemed that way. It wasn't until she was slightly older, around eight or nine that she started to see the family dynamic for what it was: Dysfunctional. Wren was born to a black and Arabic muslim man who worked as an parole officer , and a Filipino-American elementary school teacher who practiced Christianity. As ironic as it sounds, religion was the sole demise of their family foundation; whether they wanted to admit it or not. She never understood why it took her mom three kids to realize that her father was too stubborn to change. They fought almost every year, for holidays and birthdays to be celebrated in their home like a "normal" family. And for a long while Wren assumed it was just something that usually blew over. She had no idea her father was behind their back working on building another family that would comply to his strict religious rules. Nobody was ready for the immense separation that was brewing under the kids nose. Well, nobody aside from Wren. She did everything in her power to keep her family together because she could just feel
things being different this go round.
Her family was all she had, and she planned plenty dinners and family nights that nobody would even put forth effort to attend. They would pass it off as her being the cutest little thing , instead of seeing the underlying motive of it all. And after all her failed attempts, she had to let go and shit hit the fan. Her mother had gotten wind of her father's infidelity, and for a year or two she turned the other cheek just hoping it would all go away. It wasn't until the other woman was bearing a child that she decided enough was enough. Wren's world came crashing down , realizing that her father had betrayed her in such a manner. She couldn't stand the sight of him, and in fact she was the only child that didn't go with him in the huge split. She was more like her mother in a sense. She believed that love was the ruler of all instead of structure and rules. She wanted Christmas and birthdays and to be free-- unlike her siblings who she deemed as "brain washed by her dad". Her house was completely broken and her spirit was too. At the age of 12, was the last time she laid eyes on her father.
From a full family home to a small two bedroom apartment , an only child with a single mom raising her. The adaption seemed impossible to adjust to. She slipped into a dark depression, where she wouldn't eat--unless her mother forced her to. Her already anti social ways had heightened a thousand times, and the once tight bond she had with her mother was strained. The pounds fell off of her, from the lack of her appetite and the long walks she would take to clear her mind. She was filled with angst , and rage towards the entire situation. If things weren't already rough for her, when she turned fourteen her mother got laid off from work, and had to take a big pay cut when she started to work at walmart instead. She couldn't afford the apartment alone, which forced Wren to get a job. In order to successfully land one, she had to break out of that anti social funk she had been in for years. And she did so successfully, landing her a job at the local farmer's market where she would meet a group of people that changed her life for the better. Most people meet life changing people at schools, or something like that. Her co-workers forced her to come out the shell she had gotten so comfortable in. That same light she used to have as a child came back, and the love for herself had started to surface. As crazy at it sounds, at age sixteen was the first time she saw herself. Not as a mistake, not as the cause of a broken home or the overweight socially awkward girl that nobody in their right mind would befriend. But as Wren Suhadd, the girl with loads of potential to be something great. And she had her first group of friends that she had ever made, at the small market she worked at. Now with herself in mind, she began to work on her physically appearance since her mental was already in motion of being repaired and nurtured. She would go running with her mom, or take gym trips with her friends from work. She became somewhat of a health nut, and her shapely figured came and took everyone by surprise. Even her mom. She had blossomed into a young woman who learned not to blame herself for everyone else's shortcomings, and to not let her troubled past define her.
17 was the start of her adulthood. Because of her late birthday, she finished school at 17, and even started college at San Jose State University for education at the same age. By this time she was a completely different Wren that she was when she was coming up. Although she still had a lot to learn about the type of world she was living in. She had beat every battle she had within herself and her family's bullcrap, but she was still so green when it came to the world. At eighteen she had never even thought of a man romantically, she had never even been in a physical altercation or even had a disagreement with someone, and she didn't have the slightest idea of the fact that college would teach her all about those things. In fact, she wasn't even remotely ready. Her innocence was still at an all time high, her freshman and sophomore year of college. In fact, aside from all the awards she had won it was quite forgettable. She had found herself apart of plenty clubs and teams, and even still kept that social persona she had adopted while working at the farmer's market as a teenager. Her junior year threw her for a loop, her curiosity seemed to take her over completely. She met more people, people that weren't so good like the first group of friends she came across. She started to party heavy, and weed became one of her favorite past times. The old friends she made gradually faded into nothing more than memories, and that good girl she was once was a thing of the past. One of her friends had introduced her to the "big homie" who had just popped in, for whatever reason which was a rare occurrence-- and she had no idea that he would change her life forever. It was something about his bad boy persona that she was immediately drawn to, so when he asked for her number she willingly gave it to her. Since her "revamp" if you will, plenty of men had tried to come onto her but she never gave them the time or day. She didn't know what made Israel so different, but he was.
Now, well into her senior year of college, 21 , just months away from walking across the stage. Because although she partied hard, she still took her studies very serious, her and Israel's friendship had gotten pretty serious. She enjoyed hanging with him and the plenty drinks and weed she would get just from hanging with him. One night one thing led to another, and nine months later she would give birth to his child. The man who she gave her virginity too, and had a child by and he was never even a boyfriend to her.
The thought of being a mother scared her to death, but she knew her mother would never let her get rid of it. For months, she hid it from Israel, fearful of what he might have done to her if he had found out, and even decided to move off of campus and take that commute from home to the campus every day. Her and her mother came up with a plan to survive with another mouth to feed and was completely ready to raise the child as a single mother. She had heard stories of how men acted when they had a baby on the way with a girl that they barely knew. And it wasn't no secret she was dishonest with him. To impress him, she had lied about her age--telling him that she was only 1 year younger than him instead of the 6 year gap. He had no idea that he would even be her first, so she felt kind of guilty of how everything fell out. She thought she had everything figured out until Israel showed up on her doorstep and already knew she was pregnant, demanding that her and her mom move up to Ashwick to be closer to him to bring his baby into the world. And Realizing she didn't have much of a choice she took the move with her mom, and moved to Sandy Shoals in a bit of a whirl.
After having her baby she enrolled in Harding University graduate school to get her Masters in Education. Now she focuses on raising her baby girl, Zoe Black, and works at a local elementary school as a teaching assistant. Her life is finally coming together, and the most difficult thing she deals with is co-parenting with the father of her daughter where they clearly come from two different backgrounds.