It's been a few weeks since Bianca last did a Q&A for her loyal subscribers and after asking them to send her their questions whether it was through twitter or Instagram, she felt like she was finally ready to finally sit down and get the show on the road. She has an audition in a few hours for some show she was informed of by some people at AMDA and she was happy for it. She was happy and needed to get a head start on getting ready so she could grab something from Starbucks and meet up with someone, so she was going to be on camera letting everyone get ready for her while answering questions, it's one of her favorite things to do while answering questions.
Sitting on the floor she waited for the sound she needed giving her the indication to start and smiled into the camera, waving. "Hey you guys. Welcome to a brand new video, a brand new vlog, and welcome to my channel if it's your first time here. If it is your first time, I'm Bianca, but you may call me Bee for short and I would like to thank you for taking a chance out of your beautiful day to check out my channel," she started off by saying with her smiling growing a little.
"As you can see I have everything set up around me to get ready because today guess what I'm doing?" she questioned and paused for a minute as if someone was going to say something back to her. Clapping, "Today is the day of the audition that I told you guys about in my blog a few days ago with this one show that I found out about from one of my past professors at AMDA. It's in a few hours so I thought that I'd let you guys get ready with e. I haven't done a q&a like this in a while, so why not?"
Picking up her straightening iron, she moved her hand around it to check and see if it was hot yet and chuckled lightly. Putting it down, she grabbed a scrunchie so that she could put half of her hair up. "It's almost hot like I like it, but before I get to the questions I want to tell you guys ahead of time that in the next video I will be doing a giveaway, so be ready and on the lookout for that video right here on my main channel soon." She then picked her phone up so that she could open Twitter up. Both her Instagram and Twitter were on the pages with the questions already, so she didn't have to search far. "Okay, so let's get into these questions. I also want to thank everyone who sent in a question to me and as usual screenshots of all the questions will be in the video as a way for me to give you amazing people shout outs."
"The first question says, where are you from and why don't you talk about where you're from a lot? " Putting her phone down she let out a sigh as she went to pick up the straightener along with her brush and looked into the camera as she began straightening her hair. "I don't think anyone's ever asked that question until now, but I think I did a video on it in one of my vlogs from last year, but if you haven't seen it I'll still tell you. I'm from New York City, New York and I moved to Ashwick when I was thirteen I think it was. I don't talk about it on here a lot because it makes me think of things that bring me bad memories. I can't even get myself to go there without having overwhelming thoughts come to my mind. It's not all of the NYC that does it, just a certain part of it is all. I witnessed something that ended up having a big impact on my life and one day if you guys want and ask enough maybe I'll share it with you, but not right now. My oldest brother Brandon moved us here because of that event and a lot of other things that happened and we've been here ever since."
You're probably wondering what happened that she doesn't want to talk about and the answer is this: When she was thirteen years old she took a trip to the park with her best friend and a few others. Her brother, Byron was also there playing basketball with some of his friends and while he was doing that she was partaking in a game of double dutch twenty feet away. She was so into it, but she quickly snapped out of it when she heard shots being fired. Her first instinct was to run for cover only she didn't do that. Her curiosity got the best of her as it always does and she went towards the group of people who were surrounding someone. Looking down she saw who the person was and it was and immediately her body became paralyzed with fear, sadness, and confusion. It was Byron laying there in a puddle of blood. It took one of Byron's friends to snap her back to reality and he told her to call Brandon or their mother, someone while someone else had been on it calling 911. It wasn't something that she could even get herself to do, so one of her friends took her phone to do it for her.
Putting the straightener down, she picked her phone up with her one free hand so that she could read the next question. Looking up at the camera, "If you could give up one of the five senses which one would you give up?" She tapped her chin gently with her brush as she tried to think about what her answer would be. "I think I would have to say sight. I wouldn't mind going through life without having that sense because I wonder how it would be like when it comes to not being able to see a person, but instead only getting to know what a person is by their personality, the way they smell, touching them, and all of that. Personality is key in my book and beauty fades, at least that's what I've always been told so I'll go with sight," she explained.
Her eyes went back to the phone and scrolled down for the next couple of questions and read through them in her head so she doesn't have to pick it up for a few minutes. "What do you want most out of life?" Placing the phone in her lap, she went back to straightening her hair after she took another section out. "What I want out of life is easy. I think I've said it countless of times in my vlog, but I don't mind saying it again. What I want out of life is to be happy, to have my friends and family be happy, to see everyone around me happy and not suffering, and to one day fall in love... in actual love I mean," she answered with a shrug. She had thought that she was falling in love with her last relationship, but she didn't. "I know you guys are probably going to wonder wasn't I in love in my last relationship, but I'll get to that later if it's in a question or address it another time."
"The next one had asked where's my roommate Jae and the Savage crew and the answer to that is Jae's in her room sleeping still, but I'm not entirely sure. The wife is at home and back from the road trip that she went on with that one girl you seen in my Vidcon vlog, Jemini is... I'm unsure where she's at, and Rae I'm going to see her later on today. Hopefully, you guys will see everyone in my next few vlogs, but I have been talking to them, at least the wife and Jae since I live with her."
Putting the straightener down, she brushed the hair that was straightened towards the back as she picked up her phone again. "Are you planning on doing any school related routines or back to school videos?" She grinned. "Yes, yes, and a million times yes. I don't plan on doing a morning school routine until I go back to school for my last year at AMDA, but if you guys would like one before then let me know in the comments. The giveaway that I told you guys about earlier is going to be a back to school supplies giveaway actually and there's going to be two or three sets of things that I want to giveaway. I will be doing a school life hacks video as well as a haul and one or two other videos that I want to keep a secret from you guys until they come out, but I think you guys will love it when they all happen and get posted." She nodded her head as she sat the brush down.
"where do you see yourself in five years?" Sitting her phone down, she took the scrunchie out her hair so that she could straighten the rest of her hair. "In five years I've already had graduated from AMDA because this upcoming school year is going to be my last year, so I can't say that. In five years I see myself or would like to hope to see myself acting movies and tv shows whether they're minor roles or huge roles though I would love to be a leading person in one of the other. I would like to see myself in a relationship with someone who loves and cares for me as much as I do with them if that's the case. I see myself still doing YouTube and being even more successful with it. I do want to try to collaborate with more YouTubers and soon which I'm going to try make happen when I have some time on my hands and the list goes on, but I don't want to ramble on with you guys too much." She does have somewhere to be later after all.
Looking down at her phone she scrolled down so she could read the next couple of questions and picked the straightener up to begin finishing her hair. "The next two questions go hand in hand, so I'm going to answer them together. First, one says do you still talk to your ex and if not do I want to while the other is what changes have you made in your life this month?" She shook her head, keeping her eyes focused on the camera and chuckled lightly. "I know they don't sound like they go together, but you'll figure out why in a second. I don't still talk to my ex and I don't know if I want to or not. What I'm about to say may get someone mad, but honestly, I don't care at this point if it happens," she started off by saying. "Let me first start off by saying the one thing I changed in my life this month was making the videos of me and my one ex you guys know about private. People have been asking about what happened with them and that's exactly what. It was a hard thing to come to a decision about, but after thinking about all that relationship isn't something that I want to think about." She shrugged her shoulders.
"You can ask me why and that answer is quite simple. If you remember a vlog I did a few months ago where I said I can't take people asking questions with an obvious answer then it has something to do with that. There's going to be a card in the right corner for that if you want to go check it out, but anyway that day I ran into the guy and his apparent wife. You guys know me not to be rude or anything of that nature unless I'm really tested and that's what he did, but I cut that part out before shutting off my camera. Long story short he was telling me how I need to keep his name and his wife's name off my Instagram and out my mouth with my friends and all of this other stuff about going to him which caught me off guard because you guys know if you read my post for New Years' that I didn't one mention anyone's name or say anything that wasn't the truth. I never even said anything about his girlfriend or whatever. And it's like this don't sit here and tell me what I can and can't do or tell me how I should've gone to you when you didn't have the audacity to come to me about how you were feeling before you went out and cheated on me with some random chick. If someone wants to go to you about me then that's them, I don't go around saying and asking people to talk to people for me. At the time I was also dealing with what happened with my mom, so do you think that I'm really about to go to a guy who hurt me and tell him something? He was mad over a post, one little post about what happened last year because you guys wanted it and I'm not going to deny you guys what you want no matter what." She stopped talking to catch her breath and shook her head.
"Honestly thinking about it if I was to see him again out and about I wouldn't talk to him or bother looking his way. The way that he was acting that day along with the way he proved my point on how he never cared about me or for me, I said this before and I'm going to say it again he's not worth it nor is he worth wasting one word on," she went onto adding. Taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry about my little rant, but I've been wanting to get that off my chest for some time so thank you for asking those questions. Before I move along I'm pretty sure that he's going to consider this me being petty or tainting his name and if you're watching this get over yourself and stop trying to think that you know me well when you don't please and thanks. Though also the easiest way to avoid things is to ignore my videos and gram because I'm ignoring everything that you have online." She turned her straightener off and sat it down where it previously was before picking her phone back up as she went over all of her hair with her brush.
"What is the hardest thing you experienced?" Another sigh escaped her mouth. "The hardest thing I've experienced is losing my mom. It was two days before my birthday last year and I was so ready to be home and see my mom and talk to her about things to make her smile and proud, but the moment I got into town I was hit with the news of how I need to get to the hospital and then hit with the news that she passed away," she spoke. She could feel some tears falling from her eyes as she talked and thought about it and wiped them away. "That was a long weekend and a weekend and birthday where I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to make a video, or anything. If it wasn't for my friends I don't think I would be focused on living like happily still or anything. The thing is that my mom and I were close, like super close. With the fact that my dad left us after I was born she's the only parent that I knew of and she would've done anything to see me happy and smile and I would do anything to make her proud of me. All I have to say to you guys is one don't take anything or anyone for granted especially not your friends and especially not life. Two, live every day like it's your last and live it being positive even when someone tries to take that away from you, three don't hold grudges against someone because you never know when it might be your or their last day, and you don't want to do that or at least you shouldn't want to do so, so make amends and four spread love not hate of any kind."
She focused her attention on her phone as tears continued down her face and she tried to wipe them. "Sorry.. excuse me for a second." She got up from where she was and made her way over to her dresser so that she could grab a kleenex and made her way back over to her position on the floor and in front of the camera. "I think I'm going to end this Q&A on that note, but I'm going to give you guys a glimpse of my makeup routine for the day, so stay tuned for that short montage. All my social media are included in the description box below so check them out if you would like as well as check out my main channel, and if you enjoyed this video please like and comment the video. I try to respond to all the comments I get within the first thirty minutes of my video if not a little longer than that, and thanks for watching the video, love you guys lots." With that she turned off the camera so she could get everything ready for what she was about to do next.
• she has PTSD
All she could do when she was lead away from her brother's body that day she he was shot in the park and all she could see when Byron was in the hospital was his body looking lifeless and lying on the concrete bleeding. It wasn't something she should've seen or anything. It scared her and now it's something that she can't get out of her mind. She ended up being diagnosed with PTSD. She can't play double Dutch anymore, let alone look at a jump rope. She can go to a park, but she can't go to THAT park let nor can she go near a basketball court or look at basketballs. She doesn't like hearing one dribbling either because that's exactly what she heard when she noticed Byron that day. She sure as hell doesn't like hearing gun shots or anything that remotely sounds like them. All she does is have flashbacks when it comes to all of this and all she sees I her brother's body and blood, lots of it. Everything also makes her freeze up and either become very agitated, irritated, isolate herself, among a few other things. Sometimes she even has nightmares and there's so much more. She does take medication for it, though sometimes she tends to forget to do so and when it comes to her therapy appointment she doesn't like to go to them.
• her brothers are the best. She loves both of her brothers equally the same, but when it comes to one of them she tends to be a little closer to them. That brother would have to be Brandon. She feels like she's honestly been sucking as a sister when it comes to him these past couples of months since their mother passed, but it hasn't been on purpose. Bianca has simply just not know how to go about seeing him and talking to him because she knows that between the two of them he's taking everything the hardest or at least that's what she thinks since he hasn't tried reaching out to her either. Sooner or later, much soon than later she does plan on going to see him and the nephew and niece that he's given her with the help of his pretty wife, but it's only a matter of when she'll do that. With Bastien on the other hand, she's not as close as she could be with him because there are times where she'll be around him and her mind begins to wander and when it begins to wander she starts seeing what she saw that day at the park. She hates it and hates that she really can't talk about it without feeling some type of way, but knows that she can't do much about it.
• acting She got into acting during her freshman year of high school. At first, she honestly hated the idea, but after being in drama for that first year of high school she ended up falling deeply in love with it. She had begun making videos during her sophomore year, thinking that she wanted to begin posting them on YouTube by the time she got into her junior year, but the thought always scared her. It scared her because she didn't think that anyone would waste their time watching the skits that she put together or anything else that she would do for that matter. If it wasn't for her getting into AMDA and being persuaded to make a channel on YouTube and post videos on there she probably still wouldn't be doing so. That was two years ago in January 2015 and she's truly happy that she finally decided to go on the journey. She's hoping that she can begin landing acting gigs this year, but honestly, she's not in that huge of a rush to do so since she's having fun doing what she does as it is.