Roddy finally started to climb in, the bubbles were still the main thing she was staring at and she didn’t want to disturb them by climbing in. Once she sunk into the heat she intertwined her legs with Ginger’s a bit from her side, leaning back and getting comfortable.
It was one of those moments that finally hit her that she could feel at home. Like the rough part was over to some degree even if she missed it. She’d left home because the journey ended, wasn’t it hypocritical to be enjoying this?
“I don’t know that I was free, I just don’t know.” She was really, truly wondering, trying to decipher her past in real time. Looking off towards the ceiling, away from Ginger, lost in pure thought while enjoying the water.
“I always felt tied to what my parents wanted, what my family needed because I was the best. That is maybe not freedom. I’m thinking of a night, we set up camp everyone had eaten and started going to bed and the fire was out.”
Her ability to paint a picture with words was not great but it was flowing as she recalled it. “It was very quiet and cold and I remember looking at the trees and the wind blowing. Was in Estonia. I remember just wanting to walk away and go somewhere else.”
“I could but I couldn’t.” Creasing her brow, her head falling all the way back, jaw hanging slack as she chewed at her lower lip.
“I didn’t feel free.”